For Dad

Ole is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast.

"Dat's it," he tells Lena. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad dat once I hit da ball I couldn't see vere it vent."

Lena sympathizes and gets him a shot of aquavit. As they sit down she says, "Vhy don't you take my brother Sven wit you and give it one more try."

"Dat's no good" sighs Ole, "your brother's a hundred and tree. He can't help."

"He may be a hundred and three", says Lena, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the next day Ole heads off to the golf course with 103 year old Sven. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to Sven and says, "Did you see da ball?"

"Of course I did!" replied Sven. "I have perfect eyesight".

"Vhere did it go?" says Ole.

"I don't remember."

Piano vs Clarinet

Sven’s down at the feed store and runs across Ole. 

Sven says, "Ole, good to see you! How’ve you been?” 

“Fine.” 

“And what about your wife, I haven’t seen her in awhile. How’s she doing, Ole?” 

“Fine.” 

Sven says, “I heard you bought her a piano, didn’t you? That must be real fine. How’d she like it?” 

Ole answers, “Fine. But I sold the piano and bought a clarinet.” 

“A clarinet? Why would you give her a clarinet instead of a piano?” 

Ole glares at Sven a bit, then says, “Because with a clarinet, she can’t sing!”  from Gail Parker